10
Commandments of Heckling
as taken from The
Bleacher Bible |
|
by Chris Snead
|
| Commandment
I - Thou shalt not use profanity |
|
Remember this one thing,
baseball is still a family sport. Fathers and sons, mom and dad, the whole
family. Nobody wants to hear you spouting off a bunch of @#$&%! |
| Commandment
II - Thou shalt not insult the mother |
|
This should be obvious.
What good would come from saying something about someone else's mother?
Is that what we want? I don't think so. Leave mom out of it. We don't need
any of this garbage at our games. We want people to appreciate what we
do, not resent us for it. |
| Commandment
III - Thou shalt be intelligent |
|
Do I really need to explain
this? Know what you are talking about. Remember, credibility lends respect
to your task. |
| Commandment
IV - Thou shalt love baseball |
|
Is there any doubt about
this? Who in this great country would disparage America's pasttime? If
you don't love baseball, what are you doing here? |
| Commandment
V - Thou shalt be aware of the people around you |
|
This is a really touchy
one. Even though some of the funniest stuff you may have may be about overweight
guys or bald guys, the person next to you may not think it's terribly funny. |
| Commandment
VI - Thou shalt be witty |
|
Only one rule to remember
here: if you are the only one laughing, it wasn't funny. |
| Commandment
VII - Thou shalt not overkill |
|
Listen, if somebody does
something funny in the first inning, you should not keep ragging on it
in the fifth. The more you say something, the less effective it becomes.
You must be aware that the same stuff gets really old after a couple of
games - especially in a series against the same team. Unless something
is really working on one or two guys, put it away for a couple or three
games. |
| Commandment
VIII - Thou shalt be friendly |
|
The best way to make these
guys listen to you and divert their attention from the task at hand is
to be just as nice as you can be. When you look into the dugout, wave and
say, "Hi guys!" |
| Commandment
IX - Thou shalt not cross the line |
|
That line is the line of
brutality. Look, the players know that heckling is part of the game. Don't
make it personal between you and the players. Remember, they have bats,
you don't. |
| Commandment
X - Thou shalt remember the children |
|
No matter what you want
to believe about role models, the children are watching and listening.
They hear what you say and see what you do. Be aware of that when you sit
in the stands. If you don't know whether you fit the bill, just ask yourself,
would you want your best friend's kid sister or brother to sit next to
you at the next ball game? Well, would you? |
